Body confidence

This is something I've been reading so much about lately, literally tons of women campaigning for people to feel comfortable in their own skin. But it's so hard - yes you can say 'you should feel body confident' or 'you should feel liberated' etc etc, but to actually feel that way I find quite impossible to be honest.

So here's my input. I'm not body confident, maybe 75% of me is, but there is that pesky 25% of my confidence that is hiding away and doesn't want to rear it's head. This is something I've always felt since I reached puberty, maybe even younger than that. Unfortunately I've inherited what my family refers to as the 'Shirley Legs'. Basically, chunky legs. They've been with me for as long as I can remember, and have always remained bigger in proportion to the rest of my body. Growing up I always remember disliking my legs and still do to this day. I danced for many years and was always 'bigger' than the skinnier girls, I always the 'boy' in the any dance that involved partners and when it came to skimpy costumes and hot pants ... I hated it. Throughout school my best friend was much thinner than me and I always felt like that 'fat friend' even though I knew I wasn't fat. Mum assured me that I was just 'big built' - that made me feel even worse.

I've never gotten upset about my weight, or cried over it at night. But it's just something that's made me feel very uncomfortable and wary of what I wear or how I stand or even sometimes walk. When I was about 15 I noticed I started to get stretch marks on the insides of my legs and cellulite. It's only recently that I've actually tried to lose some weight but the weight seems to drop off everywhere but my bloody legs. For the past few years I've hated my knee's also and have tried to cover them up whenever I'm going out (besides holiday). Which makes me question... why is it okay on holiday. My answer - well because I won't see the people on holiday again so I don't care. Which is stupid. Why do I care what people in the UK think to my wobbly legs if I go out in a pair of shorts?

It's hard to not care. It's hard to think that you look fine when in your head you don't and it's hard to see other girls looking fabulous in their shorts and skimpy skirts and you're just stuck in jeans. I actually posted a picture to Instagram last night of me showing my 'problem areas' aka - my Kim K butt. I tried a dress on and snapped photo's from the angles I don't like to see how it looked. Probably something we all do, I look okay from the front, but side on behind is not so nice for me.

The responses were really surprising and I guess I wanted to show people that I'm not happy with my all of my body and it's normal to show imperfections rather than taking every photo from my best angle all the time. People told me that they 'wish they had a body like that' and 'wow you look great'. I'm shocked, because that is NOT how I see myself. But maybe we should, maybe when you look in the mirror next - ask yourself is it really that bad? There is somebody out there wishing they looked like you and I think that's the best compliment ever considering I spend my life wishing I looked like somebody else. Well I don't, I look like me and maybe we should be thankful for what we've got.

Amen.